英語經(jīng)典幽默笑話大全

從古到今，笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調劑品”。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放松。與此同時，笑話也是人們反對極權和專制制度的有力武器。下面小編整理了幾篇經(jīng)典搞笑的英語笑話及其翻譯，希望可以給你的生活帶來歡樂!

英語經(jīng)典幽默笑話一：I Don't Need to Steal Any More

The owner of a large department store went over hisbooks and discovered that his most trusted employee had stolenover a million dollars from the firm.“I want no scandal，” saidthe owner.“I'll just fire you.” The employee replied，“True，I robbed your firm of quitea tidy sum. I now have yachts， a country mansion， jewelry，and every luxury you can think of. I don't need a thing， sowhy hire somebody else and have him start from scratch?

一家大百貨店的老板在查帳中發(fā)現(xiàn)，他較信任的雇員從公司偷走了一百多萬美元。“我不要丑 聞。”老板說。“我只要開除你。”那個雇員回答說：“不錯，我是偷了你公司相當一大筆錢?，F(xiàn)在我有游 艇、一座鄉(xiāng)村別墅、珠寶，以及你能想到的一切 奢侈品。我什么都不需要了，你為什么要再雇個人來，讓他 從頭做起呢?”

英語經(jīng)典幽默笑話二：太晚了 It's Too Late

A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

一個醫(yī)科學生被要求說明他給病人服的那種藥的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。” 一分鐘后，這個學生問教授：“我可以改正我的回答嗎?”教授看看手表，說：“太晚啦，你的病人 已在30秒鐘以前死了。”

英語經(jīng)典幽默笑話三：合理的憂傷

On his deathbed poor Lubin lies; His spouse is in despair; With frequent sobs and mutual cries; They both express their care. “A different cause，”says Parson Sly， “The same effect may give： Poor Lubin fears that he may die ; His wife，that he may live”.

馬修?普賴厄 可憐的魯賓躺在他的病床里; 他的妻子陷入絕望; 頻頻啜泣，相對哭啼， 他們都表達著憂傷。 “不同原因，”滑頭牧師說， “可產生同樣結果： 可憐的魯賓怕他會死; 他老婆，怕他會活。”